We Were Merely Freshmen

Alright, So I guess you could say that I'm jumping on the "lets blog about my life" bandwagon, but I haven't used my livejournal in ages and I do miss writing when I'm not in university *as nerdy as that sounds* so here we go again.
I remember days where I used to stay up till the crack of dawn writing and scribbling until my hand, and more often than not my heart hurt. Lately I guess I've just been channeling that same energy into other things, though if you can figure out what those things are you'd be one up on me.
Its interesting how cyclical life really is. Everything begins and changes but it never really ends, just evolves. Thats a strange concept too.

So after all of that you're sitting there going who exactly is this girl?
Good question.
I am a twenty year old university student finishing up my bachelor of arts this upcoming school year. After that I'm hoping that I begin the path to law school but that road has already had some bumps and bruises. Nothing that hard work couldn't fix though. I think more than anything I'm afraid to go all out and say "YES! I WANT TO BE A LAYWER COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!". I'm afraid to give it my all and really commit and then not be good enough, or talented enough or determined enough to really fallow this through. Sometimes it's easier to just convince yourself that it doesn't really matter one way or another, even when succeeding is all you ever think about.
You know the saying "You can be anything you want to if you just put your mind to it and work hard enough?" Yeah. Okay. If that were true Hillary Clinton would be President. *This would be the spot where I shamelessly plug Barack Obama because I love him even though I'm a Canadian citizen who can't do anything about the outcome of the American election* But seriously. She wanted to be the Democratic Nominee for president more than I'm sure I've ever wanted anythign in my entire life. She worked at it she did everything humanly possible short of rigging the election to win. And she lost. I can't help but wonder if my dreams and goals would be destined for the same fate, so in order to avoid that fate, it's easier to just not try at all, because that way, when you don't succeed you have something or someone to blame. An external unstable attribution instead of an internal stable one. I.e. I didn't study hard enough, I didn't try,etc, etc.

So now you're wondering why such a girl would title her blog "live life, love laugh, when it doesn't seem like there's much laughter or love going on. Well I think I'll just tell you to wait on that one. I might surprise you one day.

MJ